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  Welcome to THERAPYPUTTY.COMWe have the cure for CLAYITIS!
Clayitis is a severe neurological disorder resulting from the lack of hand exercise with clay. The symptoms are boredom, confusion, inattentiveness, sexual dysfunction, and decreased mental agility.
Left untreated, Clayitis can lead to memory loss, termination of employment, creeping senility, spousal abuse, compulsive gambling, and a persistent vegitative state.
Clayitis was named by the two half-brothers who discovered it in 1991, Dr. Paul E. Clay and Dr. Arthur I. Tess. Dr. Clay and Dr. Tess were separated at birth but somehow ended up in similar professions: Dr. Tess as a hand-gesture specialist at the Max Schmeling Institut in Hamburg, Germany, and Dr. Clay as an abdominal implant specialist at the Abs "R" Us Plastic Surgery Clinic in Sydney, Australia. Dr. Tess is well known in the niche sociological field of hand gesture analysis, and has invented and patented many commercially-viable hand gestures as shown on the right. These hand gestures became the basis of the Therapy Putty exercise program. Half a world away, Dr. Clay was busy pioneering abdominal transplant plastic surgery. In addition to the standard "6 pack", Dr. Clay also invented several custom "8 pack" and even "12 pack" abdominal implants. One day while mixing various polymers for a world-record 20-pack implant, a freak accident caused an explosion that destroyed the clinic and knocked out Dr. Clay's eye and a tooth, and sent putty raining from the sky in Sydney that created quite a stir! However, the result of the exploded implants was a material tailor-made for hand exercise. Success did not come overnight. In their home countries, both doctors were shunned by the medical establishment as "plastiquacks" and "polymer oil salesmen". They eventually immigrated to California to escape various domestic disputes and legal proceedings, where under the guise of conducting stem cell research, obtained capital funding to develop one of the most profound medical products of the twentieth century... Therapy Putty!   "Lack of clay in daily activity leads to Clayitis. But Clayitis is preventable! The medical industry has spent billions creating drugs like Vioxx and Viagra", adds Dr. Clay, "but these drugs only treat the symptoms, not the cause. My prescription to prevent and cure Clayitis is to strictly follow our daily Therapy Putty program... until death ensues." Don't let Clayitis happen to YOU! |
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Therapy Putty
PLAY WITH IT!  "Thanks for the abs, Dr. C! I won first place!" Julie K. Hand gestures invented by Dr. Tess:  Writing the letter "S" with index finger pointed: "I'm gonna get you, Sucka!"  Swooping pinky finger bent like a hook: "I got the hook-UP!" 
Open hands held together: "You're in good hands", Dr. Tess' most famous hand gesture featured in insurance ads! |
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